So you want to play Diretide but you have no idea how to play Diretide. What will you do? Never fear: this is DotA in :60.
Diretide is a special game mode that comes around whenever someone at Valve gets a toothache.
It's three game modes in one, starting with "Yum Yum Pot" -- a vicious ten-man, all-mid tug of war where you fight to steal virtual jujubes from the enemy's till while simultaneously guarding your own jewels like it's your first day in prison.
In Phase II -- codename "Big Man on Campus" -- Roshan gets loose and starts to wonder about asking for handouts like a homeless guy at an off-ramp. Except when Roshan asks for something you better give it to him or he'll disassemble you like a Mr. Potato Head.
The match concludes when Roshan decides he's eaten enough and declares a "Rapier Round Robbin" where all the heroes from both teams (now jacked to level 25 and fed like research mice) stand in a circle and stare at him like a debutant in an army barracks trying to ply him with a massive pile of divine rapiers.
So who should you play?
With Shadow Shaman you can turn the trick-or-treaters into tinder, with Disruptor you can bar the door and turn the vault into a safe room, with Lion you can give someone the best costume they've ever had, and with Slardar you can turn the enemy front porch into a smash and grab.
Thanks for watching this video, good luck in your match, Boots of Travel for the win, I want a candy!